I wanted to write this blog post about my experience with this particular painting. At first, I had found a photograph by @nathalieseiferthfairytales on Instagram. The image spoke to me for it's beautiful aesthetic.
It wasn't until I was midway through the painting that the shooting in Ft. Lauderdale AirPort occurred. These tragedies are happening so often. Last year was the attack in Orlando at Pulse, which caused me to make this painting as a response. I know there is violence all over the world, but these are hitting so close to my home in Miami. It is frightening to go to a restaurant, a club, or anywhere public anymore. I keep alert at all times. Fun can be had but with vigilance. It is scary.
Back to the painting. As I painted this piece, I channeled my frustration with humans who kill others. The ambiguity of whether the killer was lying or not (he claimed to have been brainwashed by the CIA, who was forcing him to watch "videos". MK Ultra was a real thing, how do we not know that this may have actually happened?). It frustrates me that we the people, are out of touch with our government and intelligence agencies. There is no transparency, and it makes things hard to understand. Perhaps the man was just crazy. Perhaps he was being mind controlled. We can't know for sure.
The painting itself is both pain and relief. Pain that is felt for the loss of humanity in acts like murder. Pain for the loss of innocent people who die.
But why relief?
I think there is peace in death, a tranquility from the chaos of the living. Relief from suffering. I think this is what I wanted to channel into this painting. I did appreciate all the comments I've received from people's interpretations. They show the capabilities of art in making things be seen from various perspectives.
"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others." - Jonathan Swift